


Seeing and being Seen

by Natural_Log



Series: Widofjord From My Head [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, ignores ep 99, post episode 98
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:15:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23126881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natural_Log/pseuds/Natural_Log
Summary: Caleb has a rough night- not quite as bad as Fjords though, and isn't that just the way it goes.Post episode 98 "what if" (what if they had to cast an actual resurrection ritual) which was, as is my way, written in a frenzy after the episode....and now, written because I'm desperate for content
Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast
Series: Widofjord From My Head [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1198351
Comments: 23
Kudos: 148





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess what? There was some Widofjord content in-game which means, that's right, I spent a few hours after the episode pouring out some ideas. And then forgot about it until Thursday rolled around again.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy some unedited and unbeta'd stuff.

_“I see a good man.”_

Caleb was running down the streets of Rexxentrum wildly, skidding around corners and shoving past panicked citizens as the ground shook. The Krynn were attacking, again, purple worms burrowing from the ground bearing merciless warriors. And Caleb was running.

The building he wanted was just ahead, just across a courtyard, its high stain glass windows somewhat shattered from the attack. Caleb sprinted to the door and slammed through it, searching wildly for his quarry. 

“Vollstrecker?” The priest held his arm out to shield his charges, small children huddling behind his robes. “What is the meaning of -”

Caleb looked down and realized finally that he was not in his normal cloak and book holsters. Instead he was garbed in scarlet and gold, his arms mottled with green crystals erupting from his fire wreathed skin.

“I…”

“Caleb?” A small half orc child pushed past the priest, blinking large eyes up at him. “Are you here for me? Are you here to save us?”

Bells tolled in Caleb's ears, loud, too loud. He clapped his hands to his head to shut the noise out but they continued to ring as he fell to his knees in front of the child, who pulled a sword out of the center of his small chest with a gush of seawater. “Caleb, help me, please.”

Caleb shot upright in bed, hands still covering his ears as he looked around the dark room for the source of the noise. Rain pounded the small shuttered window behind him and thunder pealed, but the bell was so sharp. And then it was silent. 

In the pitch dark of his room Caleb stumbled to his feet, automatically reaching for his books before throwing open the door and lurching into the hallway as the ship rocked.

Though his human eyes were weak he could still see where Veth should have been sleeping between canons. Instead he could only barely see Jester, in a sleeping gown, facing off with some creature. 

“Shit,” Caleb shoved a hand into his pouch and tried a spell, but the creature shrugged it off. What was happening was still a mystery, but Caleb moved further into the room to fight despite himself.

Trying to both maneuver and fight in the hull, next to the black powders stores and canons, was too tricky. And the creatures made awful noises that made Caleb's knees tremble. Unknown creatures from the depths, somehow on the ship, attacking them in the middle of an armada, why would-

“Fjord!”

Beau’s wail from above deck was like none Caleb had heard from her before. Fear slid icy cold down the back of Caleb’s neck as he caught sight of one of the enemy’s swords. A falchion, barnacle encrusted.

Without hesitating Caleb pulled the raven feather from his component pouch and imbued himself before throwing open the window next to him and diving out into the rain. The spell took and he willed himself to fly up, over the side of the ship. It was the middle of the night, the sky black and rumbling with the storm, and only a few lights had managed to keep lit on the top deck. Through the rain Caleb peered, eyes flicking over the scene for Beau. She was down on one knee, in her sleep shirt and pants, hair down and flattened to her head as she stared grief-stricken across the ship. Caleb tracked her line of sight and clenched his fists when he clocked more creatures surrounding -

Fjord, on his back, not moving.

One of the creatures reared an arm back as if to strike and Caleb moved without thinking, his stone already in his hand as he pointed to the monster.

“I see a good man.” The words echoed in his head and he could see the soft look on Fjords face, just yesterday, as they leaned on the railing and into each other's space, speaking softly if intensely.

Green ether erupted from his outstretched hand, reaching for Fjord, and he pushed his rage into the thing, into the dark energy, aiming for the sea creature above his friend.

And it tore through the things shoulder, disintegrating flesh and knocking it off balance.

Caleb shook his now tingling hand out, panting as he tracked for more threats. Beau screamed like a wildcat and leapt onto another enemy, punching wildly into its face. Yasha appeared at the stairs, looming from the darkness to strike, and then Caduceus behind her, his beetles literally eating the creatures alive as the two raced into the fray.

They were all too far though. Too far to stop the creature, possibly the leader, from glaring up at Caleb as it grabbed Fjord, muttering something he couldn’t hear over the storm. But Caleb’s scalp prickled and tightening and he needed no other cue to throw his still numb hand out and shout “No!”

There was a drawn out moment, hanging over Caleb as time seemed to stop, where he wondered if he should have put more into it, should have pushed the rest of his energy into stopping whatever was about to happen. Then the rain resumed, the wind pushing him as he floated above the ship, and the creature bared its teeth up at him as it was foiled. 

“Beau!” he shouted down, “Stop them!”

She jerked her head up to him, then over to Fjord. Caduceus nearly slipped on the wet deck as he surged forward, pushing aside another victim of his beetles. A final creature huddled near Fjord, hands hooking under his arm as it tried to drag him to the edge. Nearly spent, Caleb grabbed the first thing in his pouch, hand closing around a dust covered adder gut.

Good enough, he thought, and drew the material like an arrow on a string, pulling as far back and as tightly as he could and pushing the last of his energy into the spell before releasing. It screamed through the night and slammed into the beasts forehead before releasing the acid within and melting down, cleaving the thing in two. 

Thunder rumbled again and Caleb waited, paused for just a moment, waiting at his vantage point in case any more enemies appeared. Beau slapped the deck and pulled herself to her feet and everyone moved at once, though Caleb still beat them to Fjord. He slammed, perhaps with too much force, onto his hands and knees, sliding slightly and pulling himself over Fjords motionless form.

“Fjord?” his hands danced over Fjord’s bare chest, the fatal wound too large and no longer bleeding. “Fjord please-”

“Is he-?” Beau was across from him, tearing what was left of Fjord’s shirt off. “God damn it is he-”

Caleb shucked his own shirt over his head, his book holster clattering to his side as he jammed the cloth into the wound. “Caduceus, diamonds!” he shouted over his shoulder. “Diamonds, now!”

Caduceus skittered behind them, changing directions mid sprint as he realized his components were downstairs still. “Jester!” he yelled down, “Veth! Jester! We need a diamond!”

“Come on,” Caleb chanted, watched the rain land on Fjords too still face in the dark. “Come on come on we don’t have much time.”

“Oh god they came right for him,” Beau rocked back and forth, clutching Fjord’s arm. “They caught him asleep, they were coming right for him, we should have-”

“It’s the ocean,” Yasha sat at Fjord’s feet. “I forgot, but the ocean. He shouldn’t have come back. There’s no way they would have forgotten about him, about what he has.”

“Where is the diamond?” Caleb yelled again. Fjord’s body was already getting colder, the color draining his face into a paler green. “Jester-”

There was a pop at the top of the stairs and Jester sprinted across the deck, body slamming Caleb out of the way. “Oh my god oh my god here I have the diamond I can cast it oh Traveller I really hope you are here right now and not off somewhere else oh man oh man I’m gonna try and bring him back Traveller so can you like, can you pull him back and -”

The Traveller was there, over Jester’s shoulder, as if he had always been there. Caleb swallowed and dragged himself over to Fjord’s head, cradling it in his lap as the Traveller whispered to Jester.

“Will it work?” Caleb rasped. He watched Jesters hands tremble over Fjords chest, the diamond sitting on top of Caleb’s blood soaked and ruined shirt. It didn’t crumble. 

“What do you mean I have to convince him?” Jester shrieked, turning to look at Artagan. “Why can’t you just pull him back over like you did with Caduceus?”

“Fucking do it!” Beau yelled, snarling up at the hooded arch-fey. “Bring him back!”

“I need help this time,” Artagan explained, resigned to sharing with the group. “His soul got too far into the gate, we have to convince him to come back.”

“Fucking come back!” Jester screamed down at Fjord, and Artagan winced and put a hand on her shoulder.

Caleb scrubbed his face and grabbed his books. “Ok, what do we have to do do we have to get more materials do we need to take him somewhere what does this require?”

“Downstairs,” Artagan stood. “We need to move him downstairs, where she can set up a ritual. Chalk maybe, candles if you have them. Make an altar.” He vanished.

“Fuck!” Beau screamed before pulling one of Fjords arms over her shoulder. “Let’s get him down to the-”

“Orly is gone too,” Veth called. Caleb looked over and saw Marius by the fallen tortle. “Can we do more than one?”

“I’ll take Orly,” Caduceus replied. “Bring him down as well, I’ll set up my own ritual.”

It took a few minutes to bring the bodies below deck and set up. Long enough that Veth had brought Caleb his coat and a blanket. “We can’t lose anyone else tonight, let alone to the cold.”

So Caleb sat as Jester shakily drew a circle around Fjord, tears streaming down her face. Caleb tried to help instruct her, with proper angles and pointing out where she missed a piece. Beau was pacing between Jester and Caduceus, who was by far more calm and methodical with his set up.

“Okay okay okay,” Jester sat back and wiped her nose. “I think that’s it. Traveller?”

“Very good, this will do perfectly.” He was there, a hand resting on Jesters still damp head. “I will need three voices to call out to him.”

“Can I be a voice?” Jester asked instantly, looking up at her deity. “Can I call to him if I’m casting the spell?”

“I don’t see why not,” Artagan smiled down at her. “Who else will-”

“Me.” Beau slammed her butt down next to the circle, glaring at the Traveller as if in challenge. 

“Wonderful,” he turned to Caleb. “And the third?”

“Of course,” Caleb’s voice was soft, and he placed his hand on Fjord’s hair. “Of course.”

“Then we shall begin.” Hands swirled, and the taste of the room changed instantly. Caleb narrowed his eyes, watched the arch-fey pull energy from Jester and her circle and form it into a kind of ethereal hook spear. He inspected it for a moment, as if testing its weight, before driving it into Fjord’s wound. 

Caleb and Beau jerked forward but Jester sat upright. “Do you have him?”

“Hrm. Yes.” Artagan tilted his head and tugged gently. “Yes I think we have him. You should call to him now.”

“Oh,” Jester blinked and rubbed an eye. “Right, ok.” She took a deep breath and frowned at Fjords body. “Um, Fjord? Can you come back please?”

Silence.

Artagan ducked his head. “Perhaps list reasons why he should return? Give him a will to live so to speak?”

“Well obviously he needs to come back for us!” Jester clenched her fists. “Fjord you have to come back because we need you! You’re the captain and you’re so good at talking to people and your spells are so cool and powerful? And we all love you so much and you’re one of my best friends and I can’t... “ she choked back a sob. “I can’t imagine trying to go on if you aren’t there? You were the first friend I made after I left home and I need you to have my back so please just… please just stop dying and come back already!”

She panted and Artagan nodded. “A fair attempt. His soul is listening, at least. Beauregard?”

“Uhg don’t call me that,” she scoffed, but scooted forward. “Ok, Fjord. Listen. I was like, a total asshole when we first started hanging out. I really appreciate that you like, saw what was going on and tried to help me. Which, you did help me. You’ve helped me a lot, I think I’m doing way better because you are my friend. And you’re the captain, how the fuck are we gonna sail this ship to this peace treaty without you? We need you, countries need you… the world needs you man. And also if you die I will never forgive you. Seriously. I’ve punched ghosts, I’m not afraid to do it again. Don’t fucking die man.”

“Good, good. This seems to be going alright.” Artagan shifted his stance. “You will have to do well though, if we are to-”

“Fjord,” Caleb interrupted and laid a hand on Fjords shoulder, near his neck, “Listen to me. You need to come back. This darkness inside you, the power that they seek, it doesn’t define you. You are not the darkness that made you, that shaped you. You are a bright light. You are a force of good in this world. I have seen men rise with power at their command and use it for evil, but you never have. You reached into the void and tasted the true power it offered, and you said no. You sought another path, a harder path. That is the power of the good in you. That is what I see when I look at you. I see a good man. I see a man who wants to stop the wrongs in the world. I see a man who laughs with me, who has saved me. You said…” here Caleb finally faltered and swallowed. “You said I was the reason you decided to become a good man. But you are the one who saw goodness in me when I saw only that darkness. I told you my truths and you deemed them forgivable, and so I can believe that they are. That I am forgivable. You saved me Fjord, and you will save many more, but you must come back to do it.”

Thunder and rain roared above, but the room was silent. Artagan studied Caleb for a long moment. 

“You have a tether to him,” he finally stated. Caleb looked up with a confused expression. “You made some tether to him at some point. It seems your bid, and your tether, were more than enough.” He reached down and grabbed the ethereal spear, near where it entered Fjord’s chest, and pulled. 

Caleb’s hand burned and he jerked back just as Fjord coughed up blood. 

“Fjord!” Jester shouted and fell forward, pulling Caleb’s shirt aside to see the wound. “Fjord are you ok? Are you still hurt?”

“He will need to recover,” Artagan made a dismissive gesture with his hand and the spear dissolved into sparkles. “A day of rest at least. But our work was successful.”

“Oh thank fuck,” Beau let herself fall onto her back, exhausted. Caleb suddenly felt the same, felt the night catch up to him as though he had been cut from a string.

He rubbed his hand and stared at Fjords nearly unconscious form as he stirred. 

“Wha-” more blood was coughed up. “Fuck it all, what happened?”

“You died Fjord.” Jester finished wiping the blood from Fjords chest to reveal a large fresh, puckered scar in the center of his torso.

“Holy shit.” Fjord reached a hand to his chest weakly but flinched. “Gods, why does my hand hurt nearly as bad as my chest then?”

Jester and Beau looked at Caleb, cradling his hand, then to Fjord, inspecting his own. “We had to bring you back,” Beau finally said. “You were like, dead-dead dude.”

“What does ‘dead-dead’ even mean?” Fjord let his head fall back against the floor and caught sight of Caleb. “Oh, I thought I heard you talking.”

“You might want to be careful,” Artagan said, and knelt beside Jester. “Tying yourselves together like that, I’m not sure what the consequences will be.” He turned and touched Jesters chin, smiling. “Either way you did excellent. I’m very proud. But I have to go now.”

“Okay,” Jester blinked, and he was gone. “Thanks for bringing Fjord back!” she called after him.

_“Did I?” his voice lingered in her ear. “Your friends have interesting secrets indeed.”_

“Next time you piss off a sea god, perhaps we should remember to take precautions.” Caleb nudged Fjord’s head with his knee before standing. 

“Oh, sure,” Fjord replied sarcastically, “Yes of course next time I decide to flip off an ancient chained god of death I’ll remember to give you a heads up- oh wait, didn’t I already do that?”

“We’ll just be more careful when it comes to ships and the ocean,” Beau slapped Fjords knee and stood before stretching. “Like maybe we could use that dome to get some sleep?”

Caleb nodded. “Where should I put it, here?”

“Perhaps somewhere with a bed?” Fjord asked from his position on the floor. “Though I might not make it that far, can someone just bring a bed over here for me please? That would be lovely. Boy do I miss the Xorhaus, and the sauna… I could use a soak.”

Leaning over Fjord and looking at him upside down Caleb smirked. “Just got assassinated by a sea god and already wants to get back in the water? Sounds like Fjord alright.”

Fjord pointed at Caleb and winced. “Ha. See. That wit, I knew you were sassing me while I was dead. That’s why I could hear you.”

Tilting his head, Caleb squatted and considered Fjord. “You could hear us?”

Beau had walked over to check on Orly, and Jester was off grabbing bedding, so Fjord let the joking mask slip. “Not more than one. Not more than you. Did the others… say something to me?”

“The three of us had to call you back. Artagan said you were too far into the gate. We had to convince you apparently. But you don’t remember?”

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment while Fjord considered this. “All I remember was that thing driving its sword- it’s falchion, into my chest. Everything went dark, and then I woke up. But…” his jaw ticked, “I heard you. I heard you say that I saved you. You said I was…”

“Mmm.” Caleb hummed.

“I felt your hand in mine. Like you were pulling me.”

“Interesting.”

“Did you… did you pull me back from death?”

“Perhaps. It seems like I helped at least.”

“Well I guess I owe you my life then.”

“I was only returning the favor.”

They studied each other for a long moment before Beau called for Caleb to come. He helped Fjord to his feet and let him lean into Caleb as they made their way up to the captains quarters, where the rest of the party had consolidated the bedding.

“Party puddle in the bubble!” Veth exclaimed, gesturing to the pile of blankets and pillows.

“Perfect,” Fjord released Caleb and collapsed onto the bed face down. With a wince he pushed himself up and rolled over. “Forgot. Chest wound. Ow.”

Caleb shook his head and retrieved his silver string, threading it across the room before sitting down to summon the hut. The others were talking quietly, moving bedding this way and that, discussing what to do and what they learned fighting the creatures.

“Caleb did what?” Fjord said as Caleb clapped his hands together and produced their protection. He turned to look over his shoulder at his name though.

Beau was sitting next to where Fjord lay, gesturing with her hands as she explained Caleb flying up and to the rescue when Fjord went down. With a great heave of effort Fjord propped himself upright in order to better stare at Caleb. 

“You were flying in a thunderstorm?” Fjord asked.

“Oh, well, I wasn’t thinking about the storm, I was thinking about how Beau sounded and-”

“Yes but you could have been hit by lightning!”

Caleb scowled. “Not very likely, but it was a risk I took since you had a new orifice in your chest thanks to-”

“So since I was passed out you cast all your coolest spells, when I couldn’t watch, and made yourself a target?’

“Dude, Fjord, he was panicking, don’t be a dick about it,” Beau chided and rolled her eyes. “We all were freaking out anyway, midnight ambush remember?”

Caleb narrowed his eyes as he watched Fjord turn in on himself sheepishly. What had Fjord said yesterday? He was protective of Caleb?

Yasha had started talking about Caduceus’ beetles, eating things alive and leaving behind bones, and with the attention off of him Fjord looked flushed and embarrassed. Caleb considered this for a moment before gently reaching from his position on the ground to touch Fjords shin.

“It’s alright,” he muttered, low enough that only Fjord (and perhaps Caduceus) might hear. “I find that feeling of protectiveness might be mutual.”

Fjord’s mask slipped back into place and he jerked his head in a beckoning motion. “There’s more than enough room on this bed. My protector shouldn’t have to sleep on the floor.”

“Why thank you,” Caleb replied as he pulled himself up next to Fjord, “my charge has an annoying habit of making enemies out of villains. It’s stressful work keeping him safe, you understand.”

“Hmm, yes, my own charge is so powerful sometimes he forgets to not fly in storms, so I myself am keenly familiar with that stress.” Fjord pulled a spare pillow from the floor and pushed it into Caleb's face. “Sometimes I just want to smother his stupid genius face when he-”

Laughing, Caleb pulled the pillow from Fjords hands and jammed it under his head. “That’s a novel idea, kill the person you are protecting so they don’t worry you any further, I’ll have to think about that.”

Fjord chuckled, rolling his eyes and rubbing his brow, and Caleb watched for a moment. There were deep lines in Fjord’s face that he had missed before. The short facial hair that Fjord was cultivating was apparently long enough to leave an effect. Haggard, scruffy, recently deceased. 

But alive. Caleb watched Fjord huff a breath of air through his nose. He had been dead not an hour ago. Dead-dead. Cold on the ground dead, blood soaked into Caleb’s shirt dead, Caleb ready to make a deal with whoever would listen dead.

“I failed you,” Caleb said suddenly, and Fjord looked at him quizzically. 

“And how is that?”

“I should have been using the hut since we came to the ocean. I should have remembered that there are things in the sea that want you dead.” Caleb resisted the urge to touch Fjord again, to reassure himself that Fjord was alive and warm and breathing. “I should have protected you.”

Clicking his tongue, Fjord considered the ceiling. “You realize that’s a lot to put on one mans plate for a friend.”

Caleb stilled, confused, thrown off. “Not for me. Not for you.”

“Hmm.”

“We had an understanding once. We said we would make this work. I haven’t forgotten that.”

“Neither have I,” Fjord turned his head to look at Caleb again, voice soft as the others quieted down for the night. “I just don’t want you to blame yourself every time something goes wrong. That’s too much for you to carry. You already…”

“I will protect my people, Fjord.”

Fjord nodded. “Of course. And I’ll protect you.” He sat up, grabbing another blanket and throwing it over Caleb before closing his eyes. “Get some rest, you did a lot tonight.”

Caleb watched Fjord's face in the dark as Yasha blew out the candles in the room and settled herself between the door and the party. It had been risky, letting people in. Letting people know him. Have power over him. 

How had Fjord turned that around on him? He now knew what Caleb had done and still wanted to protect him? As if Caleb needed protecting. As if it wasn’t Caleb's job to protect him, to protect the others, with his string and his bubble and, when all else failed, lots of fire. 

When all else failed, every bit of magic he could muster. Every cost that he could pay. 

Fjord sighed and reached a large hand out to push at Caleb's shoulder. “Sleep.”

The hand rested there a moment though, and Caleb realized he had been staring at Fjord in the dark but Fjord could still see him. Was watching Caleb watch him. 

Caleb had let him in, too close, and now had to suffer being seen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bumping up the rating because... I'm not sure how graphic depictions of wounds falls on the scale?  
> In general, I'm not sure where this is going so rating subject to change.

This time Caleb woke slowly.

He blinked as the last of his dome spell flickered away, the magic dissolved into sparkles that hovered like dust motes in the light beaming through the window. Caleb took a deep breath and tilted his head as the world settled back onto his shoulders.

Ah yes, he thought to himself, and turned to look beside him.

They almost lost Fjord forever last night.

Fjord was still asleep, on his back, his head turned toward Caleb. His beard was long enough it really looked like a beard and not like he had forgotten to shave for a few days, sculpting his already angular face. His hair was also getting long, Caleb realized. A flop of his bangs cut across his eye and fluttered with each exhale, drawing Caleb’s eye down to Fjord’s mouth. His tusks were only just getting to the length that they distended his lip, still dull and barely visible when he spoke.

“G’back t’ sleep ‘leb.”

“Hmm.” Caleb flexed and turned to his side to face Fjord fully. From the floor Caduceus huffed and pulled his blanket further over his head. “You’re the one that needs to recover.”

One yellow eye slid open. Fjord sighed and Caleb watched his throat bob. “Hard t’do when someone is staring at me.”

The dark green bloom across Fjord’s cheeks, from the warmth of sleep or something else, was most becoming. Caleb smirked. “You have a tendency to become injured in your sleep, seems wise to keep watch,” he whispered.

Fjord grumbled. “Smartass.” Then closed his eyes and resettled. “Watch me now ignore your steely gaze to return to dreamland. There was a roast dinner I want to get back to.”

“You dream of food.” Caleb replied despite himself, despite knowing Fjord should sleep more. “Very telling.”

“Well,” Fjord licked his lips and Caleb’s eyes locked onto the movement. “The menu on this ship is rather lacking, if you hadn’t noticed. Lots of rice. Dried vegetables. Hardtack.”

“Perhaps when we make port again we can scrounge up something roast-like.” Caleb whispered, “and let mister Caduceus take a break from the work he does in the kitchen.”

“Whazzat?” Caduceus grumbled from under his blanket and turned his head in his sleep. Fjord raised his eyebrow and opened his eyes again to give Caleb a look.

“Now see what you’ve done Caleb. You’ve disturbed someone else’s rest, not just my own.”

“Oh well in that case,” Caleb sat upright and stretched his arms over his head, cracking his neck. “Suppose I’ll go check on the crew, maybe wake Beau-”

A glance at the floor showed only Caduceus and Jester still sleeping there, tired from their own ordeals the night before.

“Ah.”

“Not going then?” Fjord whispered.

“It seems the girls have already taken their leave.” Caleb turned to take a last look at Fjords reclining form. His chest moving up and down steadily. Breathing. Alive. “I should follow.”

He didn’t.

“Mmmk.” Fjord pat Caleb’s back sleepily. “I’ll be up in a bit.” His hand slid down to Caleb’s waist, then his hip. His thumb stroked back and forth once.

Twice.

“Or…”

Caleb waited. “Or?”

“Someone should make sure nothing happens. You know.” Fjord tugged Caleb’s hip gently. “While my eyes are closed.”

“A good point,” Caleb looked over the clerics again but they had settled back into sleep. “My charge can stir up trouble when I least expect it.”

“Pfft.”

Caleb laid back down, Fjord's arm pinned under his shoulders. “Are you in pain?” he said under his breath, too close to need to speak any louder.

“No,” Fjord replied in kind but stared at the ceiling above for a long moment. “Yes. A little. I keep thinking about what went wrong.”

“I thought,” Caleb turned so Fjords arm was under his neck, “you were going to sleep a bit longer.”

“Yeah,” Fjord’s pulse was strong where it pushed into Caleb’s jaw, blood flowing through him. Through his very alive and no longer dead form. Fjord curled his arm and pulled Caleb closer. “Maybe I just have to get comfortable.”

He scooped Caleb right next to him with a wry grin. Caleb didn’t protest, just raised an eyebrow. He let the silence hang for a moment, trying to think of something witty to say, when he noticed the blanket had pulled down from Fjord’s chest. He laid a hand on the sternum, gently, over the bright pink scar tissue and deeply discolored flesh.

There was so much blood. So much blood on the deck and spilled over his hands and seeped into his shirt frantically pressed to the wound. But it wasn’t spilling any further, it wasn’t pulsing out of Fjord. The chest didn’t rise. The skin grew cold.

“Caleb,”

The gentle call of his name, so soft, pulled him back. The ship creaked as they gently swayed, the ocean sloshing against the side, the mild salt flavoring the air. Distant calls of sailors in nearby ships, the quick slap of flags and canvas, and somewhere on the Balleater rhythmic hammering.

And Fjord’s hand curled over his own, over his heart, over the ruined skin where a god had to pull his soul back into his corpse.

Caleb swallowed and gripped Fjord’s hand.

“Maybe I should be asking you if you’re alright.”

Despite washing his hands the night before there was still dried blood under his nails. Fjords blood. “This is your blood.” Caleb said numbly, still shaking off the images. “Under my nails. It was everywhere. You died, Fjord, you were dead.”

“Hey,” Fjord pulled Caleb closer, moved their still clasped hands to his side so Caleb had to reach across and face Fjord. “I’m not dead. I’m right here.”

“Now, you’re here now, but they were trying to teleport away with you. They were in this room, they attacked you here-”

Jester hmm’d in her sleep and rolled over, her back to the bed and window. Caleb’s eyes flicked to her and back to Fjord.

“They could have taken you and we wouldn’t have known. I couldn’t have stopped them if they-”

“They didn’t.”

“They almost did!”

Caleb let go of Fjords hand and pressed it next to Fjord’s wound, thumb and index finger framing the scar. “So much of you was gone…”

“Caleb stop it.” Fjord tilted Caleb’s head back up to face him and he looked almost angry. “I’m not dead now, I’m just tired. Stop beating yourself up over something you had no control over.”

“But…” Caleb swallowed hard and closed his eyes.

“No buts. Except maybe mine, in bed for another day or so. Fuck I’m tired.”

“Sorry,” Caleb retracted himself from Fjord, rubbing his face quickly. “I’ll go, do you need anything? Water, probably, I’ll see if there’s any-”

“No hard tack, please, for fucks sake.” Fjord gripped Caleb’s arm and stopped him leaving the bed completely. “Caleb. It’s ok.”

“Of course,” Caleb nodded, “I’ll be right back.”

The door shut behind him as quietly as he could manage, Caleb slumped and thudded his forehead against it.

“So he’s doin’ ok or…?”

Beau was leaned against the wall next to him, looking him over.

“He’s as good as can be expected.” Caleb replied. “How is-”

“Ships in shape, got everyone on duty squaring things.” Beau interrupted and led him down to the mess. “Yasha tried to get some food scrounged up but you might want to find your own stuff. Veth is overseeing most of the repairs. Orly is still down in the crew quarters recovering so she’s keeping an eye on him.”

“Good,” Caleb replied and grabbed a pitcher to fill with fresh water. “Good.”

“Also the fleet sent over one of the Cerberus Assembly to make sure everything was ok.” Beau continued and Caleb nearly dropped the pitcher. “She was impressed with us and made like a sort of job offer? It was weird, but she left.”

“Any other interesting news?” Caleb gauged the sun and the strain in his back and found it was already late afternoon. “Or any food that isn’t hardtack? Fjord mentioned he was rather put off by the taste lately.”

“Huh, sure.” Beau gave him a side eye that went unnoticed before pulling the top off of a box to reveal half a loaf of bread with some herbs baked into the crust. “I think Dueces made this the other day and Fjord liked it. Might as well let him have the rest, poor fuck’s been through the ringer.”

“Well we won’t let it happen again,” Caleb replied and set the pitcher and bread on a tray before sliding open a cupboard and pulling out some hard cheese.

“Nah, we won’t, next time some fuck tries to sneak in I’ll be there ready to pop-POP their dumb ass.” She mimicked punching for a moment before landing one on Caleb’s shoulder. “You uh, going for a five course meal there?”

“Fjord needs energy to heal.”

Caleb gathered the food and scooted out the door, balancing his goods as he turned and wound his way back to the captains quarters. The door was closing again as Caleb and Beau approached and Jester rubbed her eye while yawning.

“Hi guys,” she smiled at them and scratched Sprinkles chin. “Caduceus said he was gonna bake more today. Do you think he will make any cupcakes?”

“Uhm,” Caleb looked between Jester and Beau beside him, “that might be difficult, as I understand it cupcakes need-”

“Yeah, you know I think we can probably make that happen,” Beau pushed Caleb towards the door and slung an arm over Jester's shoulders. “We might be a bit limited with flavors but we have all the basic ingredients right?”

“How should I know?” Jester asked as she was led back down the hall, “I don’t think I’ve ever baked in my life.”

Caleb waited until they were out of sight before opening the captains door again and slipping inside. Someone had drawn the curtain and the room was fairly dark for it. Caleb had to move slowly and carefully to reach the bed again. He set down the tray, testing that it wouldn’t tip with the boats movement before moving back to the door with his silver string to trace over the spell again.

“Are you leaving already?” Fjord called and Caleb tried not to jump.

“No, just checking the perimeter. I brought some supplies for you, they’re on the tray.”

For a minute he followed the wall, placing his silver thread carefully and checking the windowsill and back door for any sign of tampering.

“All clear?”

“You are supposed to be sleeping,” Caleb tucked the thread back into his pocket and turned to the bed.

“Well, people coming and going tends to keep a man up.”

“I suppose.”

Fjord was still reclined in the bed. Caleb couldn’t see his face in the dark but he hadn’t moved to the food Caleb brought. “Are you hungry?”

“I could eat.” But he didn’t move.

Caleb picked up the tray and moved to Fjord’s side to set it on the small table before he snapped his fingers around a pinch of phosphorus and summoned a small globe of light.

Fjord held a hand up to shield his eyes from the dim light and Caleb pulled the orb further behind his head. New bandages were wrapped around Fjords torso and Fjord looked pale. The blankets had been changed.

“What happened?” Caleb knelt and touched the new bandaging, “I was gone only for a few minutes, did something-”

“It’s fine, Caleb, I’m fine, nothing happened.” Fjord picked at the edge of the bandage and let his head drop back against the pillow with a soft thump. “I tried to get up and I guess… Caduceus said the skin isn’t healed through, so I have to be ‘especially careful’ until it fully heals. He said he has a salve that will help.”

“You tore the wound open sitting up?”

Fjord grumbled and covered his face with his hand. “Can we maybe not discuss at length my inability to do something as simple as get out of bed?”

Caleb bit his tongue, gave the bandages a last look and poured Fjord a glass of water. “Well. You’ll heal faster with a full stomach. Here.”

Fjord pulled himself up to the headboard and Caleb leaned across to grab a pillow to help support him. “I feel like-”

“You were stabbed in the chest?”

Fjord shot him a sour look that turned into a grimace as he reached for the water. “How’s the ship holding up?”

Caleb had to stop himself from literally holding the cup for Fjord while he drank. “According to your first mate everything is in order. The assembly sent someone over to check on us but nothing untoward came of it. Captain.”

At his title Fjord flicked his eyes up to Caleb over his cup and Caleb responded by raising his eyebrows and smiling innocently. “Thanks for the report, did you mention food or did you bring hardtack? Because I’m not sure I could manage to get down much of the latter.”

Smile still in place Caleb pulled a piece of bread off of the loaf and cut some of the cheese. “Beau said you liked this bread that Caduceus made?”

“Yes!” Fjord reached eagerly for the offered food, inhaling the scent of the herbs before digging in.

“It’s no roast dinner, but I’ll see what can be done about supplementing our supplies.”

Fjord started to respond when the door opened. Caleb turned to see Veth standing in the doorway, looking between Caleb and Fjord. “Caleb?”

“I’ll be right back,” Caleb touched Fjord’s shoulder on his way out and closed the door behind him. “Yes?”

“I wanted to check in on you,” Veth straightened Caleb’s shirt and peered up at him. “You looked really pale when I left this morning. Are you ok?”

“I’m not the one that died last night,” Caleb pointed out, and looked at the door. “But he’s holding up alright I think.”

“I’m asking about you Caleb.” Veth tapped Caleb’s arm. “You were curled around Fjord pretty snuggly last night. You were apparently the one who called him back. It was pretty scary last night and I want to know if you are ok.”

Caleb adjusted his shirt and narrowed his eyes a bit. “I’m fine Veth. I just... “ he fiddled with the silver thread in his pocket idly. “We almost lost him. Some creatures came at us and caught us unprepared, and they nearly took him. Nearly teleported out with him.”

“We would have found him even if they had,” Veth folded her arms. “We got him back once before, remember?”

“I do,” Caleb grit his teeth for a moment. “But those people wanted him alive. These ones, from that deep sea monstrosity… I get the sense they don’t need him to be breathing to get what they want.”

“What do they want?”

“I suspect the orb. The one that was on the hilt of his sword. If it wasn’t part of the sword then it was part of him.” The hammering lower on the ship started up again and Caleb looked down the hall.

“So how do we fix it?” Veth leaned against the wall. “Do we fake his death? Mislead them? Or take out the whole organization.”

“That’s likely a larger endeavor than we can manage at the moment. But you may be on to something.” Caleb knelt into a crouch to be closer to Veth’s eye level. “If we get the orb out of Fjord, maybe they won’t want him dead. But we can’t let them find the orb either.”

“Mmmhmm. So we can keep Fjord safe with us, but keeping them in the same place won’t work. We have to hide it somewhere they can’t find it. Then maybe we can convince them he destroyed it, or at least got rid of it.”

“I know somewhere I could hide it,” Caleb rubbed his mouth, “But to get it out of Fjord… it wasn’t there when he was cut into. It was…”

The blood spilled over Caleb’s hands, cold in the rain, even as he pushed his shirt into the wound. Fjord was motionless, eyes closed, water pooling on his too still face.

“Caleb?”

Caleb snapped upright, shaking his head. “Yes, sorry.”

Veth stared him down for a long moment. “It’s going to be ok. I’ll ask Jester and Caduceus if they can do something, maybe a spell to pull it out of him, or cut his attachment to it. But Fjord will be ok. We know they’re coming now.” She stepped forward and pulled Caleb into a hug. “You helped bring him back, we can keep him safe.”

“Ok.” Caleb hugged her back, burying his face into her shoulder. “He was so…”

“I know. But he’s ok now.”

It took a few minutes for Caleb to pull back again. Veth pushed his hair out of his face and pat his shoulder.

“Thanks Veth.”

“Oh, I was going to tell you we caught a big fish.” She grinned and Caleb remembered how sharp her teeth used to be. “It’s probably going to make some nice cuts for dinner. One of the perks of being stopped out here, at least we can get some meat.”

“Good, good. Let me know when it’s cooked, I’ll come down.”

“You’re going to stay up here?”

Caleb stood and nodded. “Yes, I think I will do some studying in the captain's chambers. Fjord isn’t going to be able to move around much so someone should stay with him to help out.”

“Alright,” Veth gave him a very blatant side eye. “You’ll take first watch I guess?”

“Yes,” Caleb smiled, unsure of what her look meant. “I have little else to do.”

“Sure,” Veth rocked back and forth on her toes. “I’ll just bring up the food when it’s cooked then. Get some rest, you still look too gaunt.” And she left with an even more suspicious wink.

Caleb rubbed his nose for a long moment, looking after her. As her bright yellow dress disappeared around the corner Caduceus ducked into view, and Caleb stepped forward to meet him.

“Is Fjord alright? He tore the scar just sitting up? Can you cast more healing to ease that or-”

“Easy, Mister Caleb,” Caduceus put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder and rubbed soothingly. “Everything is alright. He’ll heal up fine. Sometimes grave wounds take more time than magic. Our bodies can only handle so much, even with healing spells. But here,” he showed Caleb a small clay jar, filled with a green balm. “This ought to help with the scar itself. There’s some special herbs in here that can promote healing, and the skin always needs moisture to stay healthy. It smells good too, see?”

The jar had an almost sweet, earthy scent. Pungent, but not unpleasant. Caleb cupped his hands around the ointment. “Good. Good. I’ll make sure he uses it. Thank you Caduceus.”

“Of course. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

Caleb turned back to the captains rooms with a nod, eyes on the ointment. Every bit helps, he supposed.

“Thanks for the food Caleb,” Fjord said as Caleb re-entered. “I almost feel like a real person again.”

“That’s the goal.”

He made quick work of the dishes, putting them on the floor by the door before pulling the desk chair across the floor to the bedside.

Fjord smirked. “Are you going to read me a bedtime story Caleb?”

“Perhaps, if you would like. But first,” Caleb offered Fjord the jar, and he sniffed appreciatively.

“What’s this?”

“Healing balm from our friendly neighborhood firbolg. It should help with the scar healing.”

While Caleb spoke Fjord scooted himself back into a horizontal position. “I’ll have to do something nice for him, after this is over. You as well.”

The bandages were easy enough to pull apart- Caduceus likely planned to use the balm shortly. “We don’t help you for a reward, Fjord.” Caleb folded the cloth carefully, eyes on his work. “We help because we care.”

The wound wasn’t as bad as Caleb had worried. A shallow tear in the pink skin. Fjord poked it idly before placing his hands on his stomach. “I can use it myself, my hands still work.”

Caleb tsked. “Maybe so, but it will be easier for me to do.” He scooped a bit of the green stuff onto a finger and gently touched it to Fjords skin.

Fjord inhaled and Caleb froze, looking to Fjord’s face. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” Fjord looked away. “Not really.”

“Well tell me if it does, or if I’m too rough.”

His stomach jerked as Fjord huffed a laugh. “I highly doubt you to be too rough with your hands, Caleb. I trust you.”

Caleb kept his eyes on his work and moved slowly, watching the salve melt into the wound, pushing it gently into Fjord’s ruined skin.

Tried to not think about blood pouring from his chest.

Fjord’s hand twitched. Caleb hmm’d imploringly.

“Just feels nice,” Fjord muttered. Caleb tried to smile. “It’s not often that… well,” Fjord cleared his throat, “You’re very kind, Caleb.”

Caleb didn’t respond, just blinked and continued to stare at Fjord’s chest as he passed his fingers over the worst of the damage.

“I feel a sudden kinship to your spellbooks.”

That made Caleb look up, slightly confused. Fjord tried to grin.

“You know, getting studied so thoroughly by you.” The skin across his nose and cheeks was darker green, flushed.

Noticing the flush Caleb reached up and placed his hand on Fjords cheek without thinking. “Are you feeling alright? You look off, are you feverish?”

“Uhm,” Fjord coughed and tried to gather his voice. “No, no fever, I feel fine. Perhaps a little weak but I’m fine! Really!”

“It would be no good for you to catch something from the wound,” Caleb narrowed his eyes and studied Fjord further. “You feel warm, you are twitchy. Maybe I should-”

Fjord grabbed Calebs hand as he started to get up. “It’s nothing, I promise. Please don’t get Caduceus.”

“Alright,” Caleb let his hand linger on Fjord for another moment before he caught himself and snatched it back. “The salve should help, I’ll wrap you back up and you can get some more rest.”

“Sure,” Fjord fiddled with the blanket at his waist. “Sleep. Rest. Sit and wait.”

Caleb chuckled from his chair and got up to drag it back to the desk. “It won’t be so bad. Just close your eyes. I’m keeping watch.”

The responding “Oh,” was so quiet Caleb nearly missed it. He pulled out his spell books anyway, flipping to his latest notes and rummaging for his writing tools. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Fjord shifting.

“I can dim the lights more, if they are bothering you,” he said, turning to look. Fjord whipped his head forward, hands in his lap.

“No, that’s ok. I can sleep through just about anything these days anyway.”

True to his word Caleb heard the light rattle of Fjords deep breaths within minutes. Caleb dug into his notes, adding into margins and recording spell results from the previous night.

_The fear pumped through his veins, tightened his throat until he was almost choking with it before he clenched his fist around the stone and unleashed a disintegrate ray at the creature over Fjord._

Moderate success, Caleb scrawled, enemy managed to avoid the heart of the spell and was

His heart, Caleb thought, the blade punched into his heart and poured his lifeblood onto the deck.

Gritting his teeth Caleb shook his head and continued shot in the shoulder as opposed to center mass. Flesh disappeared but the creature was not killed. Due to the rain there was no

_Caleb’s hair stuck to his face as he shoved his shirt onto Fjord’s still body, water dripped from his lips onto Fjord’s face as Caleb bent over him and searched for a sign of life._

-sign of life, he was dead, he was dead and cold and -

The quill in his hand snapped with a light crunch and Caleb froze. Ink had spattered across the page, pooling and bleeding into the rest of his book.

Caleb dropped the ruined quill and rubbed his sleeve in the ink, soaking it up before it could cover any more of his work. He shoved the book back on the desk and put his head in his hands, scrubbing into his eyes mercilessly.

The image of Fjord, dead, was still there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm just going to keep puttering along with this until the show comes back.

Fjord woke to the sound of the door closing quietly. He started, the Star Razor appearing in his hand as he flinched and blinked sleep from his eyes.

“It’s alright Mister Fjord,” Caduceus held a hand up, smiling. “Just me, not to worry.”

“Ah,” Fjord let his arm relax and the blade disappeared. “I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep again..” Caleb was, apparently, no longer at the desk where Fjord had been watching him.

“Slept through most of the day actually. Well done.” Caduceus pulled the desk chair to his bedside. “Caleb stepped out just a moment ago. Beau went to speak with the Assembly about the beacon they had, I figured it was time to switch shifts.”

Fjord pressed his tongue to his tusks for a moment, processing this new information. “Is everything alright?”

A steaming teapot was set on the bedside, and Fjord finally caught scent of the sweet herbs as Caduceus poured two cups. “Everything seemed just fine when I left. I think they have it handled, you just need to rest.” He handed Fjord a cup.

“Been resting for ages,” Fjord grumbled, but pulled himself upright to take the cup. The tea was mellow, slightly flowery and sweet. It soothed Fjord's chest as he swallowed its warmth.

“Do you mind if I check your progress then?”

Fjord gestured with his free hand a ‘go ahead’ and studied the door. He hadn’t heard Caleb leave. He sipped the tea again as Caduceus pulled his bandaging apart gently.

“There now,” the cleric nodded with a smile. “Good work, it’s looking much better.”

‘Much better’ still looked pretty grisly to Fjord, but he trusted Caduceus’ opinion. “How much longer until I can get up without bleeding all over the sheets?”

Jester and Veth walked by his door, talking just loud enough Fjord could tell who it was. Jester almost sounded admonishing, and Fjord wondered again how the ship was faring while he slept.

“If we are careful you can probably get into a bath tonight,” Caduceus picked up the pot of salve and began applying it to the scar. “But we will have to be careful, this skin is very delicate and thin.”

“I noticed.”

The door opened slowly, quietly, and Caleb’s reddish hair poked through. Fjord smiled.

“Ah, you are awake,” the side of Caleb’s mouth twitched in a hint of smile before he caught sight of Caduceus hand, pushing salve into Fjords skin. He looked away and frowned. “Ehm, I can get you something to eat if you are hungry, it’s been all day since your breakfast.”

“Sure,” Fjord studied his friend, looking for signs of distress. “Is everything alright with the Assembly? The beacon?”

Caduceus sealed his pot again and sat back. “It’s alright for you to take a day off Fjord, rest and heal your mind as well as your body.”

“He’s right,” Caleb moved to the desk and cleared some of his papers. “But to put your mind at ease the answer is yes. The beacon is the real article, Beau found no sign of tampering. I’m not sure what the play is here but the beacon doesn’t seem to be the key.”

“I’m not sure if that’s good news or not,” Fjord finished his tea and Caduceus took the mug. “I’d almost rather know what the trap is before it’s sprung, even if that means… well.”

“Agreed.” Caleb paused next to Caduceus, who looked up at the presence. A look passed between them and Caleb hesitated before moving back to the door.

“I suppose I will be back in a little while,” Caleb glanced back at Fjord for a long moment before turning and leaving swiftly.

Fjord rubbed his fingers into the scar on his hand and listened to Caleb’s retreating footsteps. His friend's strange behavior was starting to give Fjord pause. 

“He’s barely left your side,” Caduceus commented as he gathered his supplies. Fjord pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at the door. 

“It’s not the first, or likely last, time one of us will be hurt in battle,” Fjord muttered. “He needs to stop feeling responsible for everything. Maybe you could talk to him?”

Caduceus smiled and ducked his head. “I was just thinking something similar. But here now, you need worry less yourself. Get some more good rest tonight and you might be able to get up by yourself tomorrow.”

The door opened again and Yasha was there. She paused for a moment and looked Fjord over, to which Fjord tried not to twitch. 

“You look better,” she finally said. Fjord realized she was holding two buckets full of steaming water and grinned. 

“I’ll smell better after a bath.”

“Good.” She dumped the buckets into the wash tub tucked in the corner and walked back out. 

Through the open door Fjord could hear Beaus voice, somewhere distant, and people walking around the creaking floorboards. Caduceus stood and dug through Fjord's pack, pulling out his spare clothing. “I’ll have to mend what you were wearing,” he pointed out offhand, setting the clothes in a chair. “I’m no clothier but it will hold until we get back to the city.”

“Which city?” Fjord asked, trying to pull himself further upright. He itched to sink into that tub. “Assuming this goes well, where should we return do you think?” Caduceus tutted and helped Fjord sit up as Yasha returned with two more buckets. She didn’t speak, just dumped them into the tub, gauged it’s fullness, and walked out again. 

Fjord appreciated her briskness. 

“I would assume the Xorhaus.” Caduceus kept a hand on Fjord's shoulder as he helped swing his legs out of bed. “We have a good home there. We’ve put down some roots.”

“Even knowing what we know now? About Essek?”

Yasha was back, again, with two more buckets. She dumped one into the bin and set the other down next to it before walking over to Fjord. “All the better to keep an eye on him,” she said. “Do you want me to pick you up?”

Fjord tried not to feel as small and weak next to her, but Caleb had returned and Fjord felt his face burn. “Uh, I can probably walk right? I’m not made of glass.”

“Kay, holler if you need me.” Yasha nodded to the room before leaving. Caleb closed the door behind her and set Fjords dinner down at the table. It looked and smelled like fish, with rice and something dark green. Fjords mouth watered. 

“You outdid yourself Caduceus,” Caleb said, “This is a far cry from what I expected when I saw that fish.”

Fjord was already eagerly sitting forward and moved to stand. He wobbled, only for a moment, and Caduceus steadied him. But Caleb had darted forward as well, hand outstretched to Fjords bare chest before he caught himself and clenched his fist instead. 

“Easy now,” Caduceus rumbled and helped Fjord stand. “Food isn’t going anywhere.”

Fjord tried to ignore how Caleb stared sullenly at his chest, eyes shadowed. “Thank you. I hate feeling so weak. Can’t even stand up on my own.”

“You seem like you are recovering miraculously for someone who was dead less than a day ago,” Caleb said. “I would think you should stay in bed, but what do I know.”

Fjord slid into the desk chair, unsure how to respond, and busied himself with his food. 

“You can get back to the lower deck,” Caduceus finally replied, and Fjord looked up. “I think Essek wanted to ask you something.”

Fjord silently filed away that Essek was here. He chewed the greens, likely kelp, and slid his gaze to Caleb, searching for his reaction. The wizards had some kind of bond before they had caught Essek as the traitor. Jester even mentioned more than once she thought they would be ‘cute together’. The kelp tasted more bitter suddenly. 

Caleb and Caduceus were having some kind of nonverbal communication, Caleb glaring at Caduceus' placid smile. Fjord quietly but quickly ate his meal, waiting for someone to tip. 

“Very well,” Caleb turned to Fjord. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.” He touched Fjords shoulder softly, fingers brushing his skin for just a moment before he turned and left. 

“Esseks here?” Fjord asked the second the door closed. 

“Yes. I’m not sure if he’s using our ship to keep an eye on things or if he genuinely wants to make amends. He brought supplies for the ship and some scrolls for Caleb.”

“Mm.” Fjord took a gulp of ale and tried not to think about Essek bringing gifts to Caleb while Fjord struggled to even walk. Essek and his floating, his wizard tower, his ability to teleport at will. 

“Do you need help undressing for your bath?” Caduceus asked and Fjord nearly choked on his ale, having somehow completely forgotten that he would have to strip to bathe. 

“No!” He wiped his mouth hastily and avoided eye contact. “I’ll be fine I think. You can just. Uhm.” Fjord looked around for a moment. “Here, why don’t you note where you think we should go next?” He handed Caduceus their map before struggling to his feet. 

“Oh, alright. Be careful please, I would hate to have to patch you up again.”

Fjord waited until Caduceus sat down and turned away before he relaxed. As much as he appreciated everyone’s help there was still enough pride in his bones that being helped to bathe was a step too far. 

His clothes were indeed in bad need of mending. Slipping his shirt off he sighed, wondered if it was even worth it to try and salvage it. He let it drop across the towel rack and tried to take stock of his chest. 

It looked horrible. No wonder Caleb kept staring. The wound itself was healed over with fresh, delicate pale green skin. But his entire sternum area was blackened with bruising, still splashed with the odd blood droplet here and there. Fjord pulled the small vanity mirror over, tossing a glance to make sure Caduceus wasn’t watching. 

With the mirror in hand he gently prodded his bruising and bit back a hiss of pain. The dull ache hadn’t lessened, the pain when he tried to breathe deeply lingered. Fjord scratched his stomach hair idly and pulled the mirror up to see his face. More bruising, his lip split. Likely from when he hit the ground. Turning his head he inspected his beard with a tinge of satisfaction. 

He set the mirror down and started on his pants. They fared better than his shirt, though they needed to be washed. Stripped, he turned to the steaming tub and sighed. 

“One leg at a time,” Caduceus murmured, and Fjord whipped his head to glare and make sure the firbolg wasn’t peeking. He wasn’t. 

So Fjord braced himself against the wall and levered one leg in. The water was hot, almost too hot, but Fjord scowled and shifted his weight to bring his other leg in. The heat was as blessed and soothing on Fjord's aching body as he had hoped. He sat back and let his eyes droop, drowsy from a full stomach and the comfort the water brought, his back becoming less tense and the ache in his chest quieting slightly. 

“I do miss the Xorhaus,” Fjord watched as his blood swirled into the water. “It’s nice, even if it’s watched all the time.”

“Even if,” Caduceus agreed. 

Fjord let himself steep until his fingers wrinkled before he plucked the soap and began finally scrubbing the battle from his skin. 

“When you’re done we’ll apply more salve, it will keep the skin from tearing again. Hopefully.”

“Great.” Fjord dunked his head quickly, scrubbing his hair out and washing his face with a grunt of pain. He tasted metal and touched where his lip wound seemed to have opened. 

“Why are you bleeding every time I come back?”

Fjord blinked at Caleb, standing in the open doorway. “It’s not exactly my fault.”

Caleb closed the door and sat on the bed, far enough he couldn’t see anything untoward. “How was your meal?”

“Delicious,” Fjord made a circle motion with his hand and Caleb jumped slightly before spinning around. The tips of his ears reddened. 

“I requested some supplies from Xorhas, from our questionable acquaintance. Hopefully better food will keep spirits up.”

Fjord levered himself to his feet in the small tub, reaching for the spare water bucket. Lifting it to his chest he tipped it to douse his head. The movement, lifting his arms above his head, tugged his chest and he felt the skin tighten. He grunted and sloshed the water as he tried to rebalance. 

“Fjord?”

Caleb's eyes were tight with worry. They bounced from Fjords face to his chest and back before they flicked, almost too fast to notice, below Fjords waist. “Are you alright?”

“Here,” Caduceus, effectively forgotten as Fjord locked eyes with a flustered Caleb, stepped forward and took the rinse bucket. “Mind your business Mister Caleb. I’ve got him.”

Caleb was now turning pink across the bridge of his nose and turned his back again, hands fidgeting a stone from his pocket with jerky movements. Caduceus gently poured water and Fjord rinsed quickly, nodding to him and grabbing his towel. 

“I’ll gather the others for bed. Don’t do anything strenuous,” Caduceus admonished as Fjord stepped from the tub. 

“What?” Fjord blinked at the warning and noticed Caleb shrinking further into himself. 

“Mind yourself,” Caduceus threw at Caleb and let himself out of the room. 

“Sometimes I feel like he’s speaking another language,” Fjord said, pulling on his spare clothing. 

“Hmm,” Caleb nodded and continued to roll his stone around. 

Fjord pulled the plug of the tub, letting it drain out the side of the ship. Warm from his bath and drowsy, he moved to the bed and grabbed the healing balm. 

“Caleb, are you going to do that thing?”

He meant with the string, and the bubble, but Caleb caught sight of the balm in his hands and took it from him. 

“Yes, of course.” He was still pink in the face, the few freckles he had standing out. “Lay back please.” Fjord slicked his still damp hair out of his face and moved into the bed, leaning his back against the headboard with a slight groan and pulling his shirt open. 

Caleb kept his eyes on the salve, swirling a finger into it and warming it slightly. “I’m sorry… I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You aren’t.” Fjord leant his head back and studied Caleb through his lashes. “I’m sorry I’m such a burden right now.” 

“Enough of that,” Caleb's hand was cool as his thumb swept balm over the scar. “We will always take care of eachother.”

“Mm.”

Caleb didn’t look up, and so Fjord looked his fill at the wizard. “Did Essek give you something nice?”

“A spell scroll, more dunamancy.” Caleb’s lip twitched in a half smile. “It will be useful to study. And some notes he wrote up.”

“He’s probably trying to buy his way back into your favor,” Fjord grumbled. “We can get more books for you when we make port.”

“He’s going to bring you a roast,” Caleb actually smiled. “I asked if he could bring us something for a decent dinner, potatoes and meat and wine. I know Caduceus doesn’t eat meat but we will figure it out.”

“Do we have to share the meal with them?” Fjord asked. Caleb capped the salve and met his gaze finally. 

“We don’t have to share,” Caleb replied. “It can be just us if you want.”

He was flushing again, as Fjord watched. His eyes flicked over Fjord's face, down to his chest, back to his face. 

“I’d like that.” Fjord touched Caleb's forearm, fingers catching on his shirt. “Just us?”

Caleb leaned forward and Fjord's heart started pounding in his ears, but he was setting the salve on the side table. “That sounds delightful.”

He didn’t return to his previous position, stayed leaning into Fjord's space. Fjord swallowed and licked his lip. 

“Ach, you are still bleeding,” Caleb muttered and reached a hand out to touch the wound. 

Fjord flinched at the sting and Caleb, in turn, flinched in sympathy as he rubbed the leftover balm across Fjord's lip, thumb wiping the blood away. Fjord breathed hard, his heart still racing, eying Caleb for any sign, any sign at all. 

For what? Fjord thought wildly. Disgust? Rejection? Rejection of what?

“I hate to see you like this,” Caleb said, and it was almost a whisper. The ship was quieter now as night fell deeper. 

Fjord tugged gently with the pads of his fingers on Caleb's sleeve, a weak movement. “Really?” Hated to see him wanting? 

Caleb's hand fully cupped Fjord's face, his touch incredibly delicate. “Wounded. Hurt. Bleeding.”

“But alive.” Fjord turned his face into Caleb's hand but kept his eyes on Calebs. He moved slowly, watching and waiting, as his lips brushed Caleb's palm. Across a faint scar. 

“Fjord…” Caleb pulled his hand back slightly, paused, teetered on the edge of a decision. Fjord followed the hand though, rubbed his nose into the crease of Caleb's thumb. 

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Fjord purred, his voice pitching deeper. Caleb’s pupils dilated as he froze. “You’re always so gentle with me. So careful with your hands.”

“These hands have killed hundreds,” Caleb replied and promptly winced. “These are the hands of a murderer. They’re always stained with blood.”

“Hmm,” Fjord tracked his nose across Caleb's hand again and reached for the other, pulling it to the other side of his face. “No blood here. Are you sure?” Watching Caleb closely he pressed his lips more firmly into the scarred palm. “These hands smell like healing to me.”

Caleb tugged gently, tried to pull his hands free, but Fjord just followed. “Fjord, you don’t understand… I can’t…”

Fjord was close now, close enough to feel warmth from Caleb. Close enough his chest warned him with a pulse of ache. “Can’t what Caleb?”

Caleb pressed his lips closed with a pained look on his face, eyes on Fjord’s mouth. With a sharp intake of breath he leaned forward to speak again, likely to argue, so Fjord moved in as well and pressed his mouth to Caleb’s. 

It was soft, Caleb smelled like the kitchen and the sea, a scent of soap underneath. Caleb let out a cut off moan and pulled Fjord's face more firmly into his, angling their mouths so they fit together and licked his way into Fjord's mouth. Fjord grabbed at Caleb's hips and pulled him closer, and Caleb went willingly. 

They parted, panting. One of Caleb's hands combed into Fjord's hair, the other holding his jaw. “Oh,” Caleb whispered and stared at Fjord's spit slick mouth. “Oh.”

“Okay?” Fjord asked. He hoped he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt. “If not then I can-“

Caleb nearly slammed his mouth back onto Fjords, pushing him back to the headboard. Fjord slid a hand under Caleb's shirt, felt the soft skin of his sides as he explored Caleb's mouth. There was a slight taste of blood and Caleb retreated. 

“Fuck it,” Fjord tried to bring Caleb back in, “Let me just-“

“I said nothing strenuous.”

Caleb scrambled, slipping from Fjords lap to his feet. Fjord kept a hand on Caleb's side, refusing to break contact as he glared at Caduceus now standing in the door. 

“Really,” Fjord growled. 

“Oof,” Beau chirped, sauntering into the room and pulling a pillow to the floor. “That sucks. Bad timing guys.”

“I…” Caleb looked over the party, now letting themselves into the room and preparing for bed. 

“You’ve been cock blocked Caleb, sorry dude,” Beau crossed a leg and bounced it with the kind of joy only a petty sibling could muster. “Also uh, sorry Captain but we aren’t leaving you alone at night.”

“No hanky panky while we are in here either!” Jester held up a finger and looked between the absolutely beet red Caleb and Fjords glowering form. “Gross.”

“Gross,” Yasha agreed. Without a hint of irony she pulled Beau into her side on the floor and held a hand out for Jester, who dropped and snuggled up to the large woman. 

Fjord finally saw Veth, standing in the doorway glaring daggers at him. “If you weren’t already on deaths door,” she started, “I would-“

“Veth,” Caduceus admonished, and she let her voice trail into a grumble. 

Caleb finally peeled away from Fjord and started tracing the room with his silver string, muttering under his breath. Fjord watched him hungrily, ignoring the looks and the ache of his body. 

He was lit up within, knowing Caleb kissed him back. The adrenaline of their quick embrace didn’t fade until Caleb was asleep at Fjord’s side in the bed, head on Fjord’s shoulder, tucked where Fjord could keep an arm around his waist. Their relationship was changed, shifted, tilted to a free fall into something new. But for the moment Caleb was still at Fjord’s side, safe and protected, surrounded by their family. They were alive, and Fjord had no intention to lose what he had.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would describe my writing style as "fits and bursts" or maybe "chaotic"
> 
> I hope everyone is doing well in these honestly trying times. I think I saw that the CR team is going to be discussing how best to re-start the in-person side of business so hopefully we will get back to the M9 before too long!

Fjord pulled himself out of bed the next day before anyone could try to cater to him. A quick scan of his chest revealed the skin was already looking healthier, less likely to tear. He applied the healing salve anyway- he was eager to be self sufficient but he was no fool. 

Yasha seemed to be his watcher today, but she was quiet. Sharpened her blades, mended her clothing. By the time Fjord had pulled himself together she had casually moved and opened the door for him. 

“Thanks, Yasha.”

She nodded, put a hand on his shoulder, and he was surprised by how gentle the touch was. He was expecting something more like Beau, almost unaware of her strength.

The ship wasn’t bustling, still anchored in the armada. Fjord tried not to rush to where Caleb and Caduceus were talking near the bow as Yasha turned toward the lower deck. “Good morning, did I miss anything vital?”

Caleb startled, turning and looking away as he ran his fingers through his hair. Caduceus smiled however, hands folding together. “You’re moving about much better today Fjord, I’m pleased. Any untoward pain?”

With a concerned glance at Caleb Fjord answered, “Still aches, but the surface pain is by far more manageable. That salve is incredible.”

“Good, good. I’ll fetch Jester if you want to fill Fjord in, Mr. Caleb.” Caduceus smiled widely at the both of them before turning away.

Frumkin hid most of Caleb’s face from his position on his shoulders. “Fill me in? On what?” Fjord touched Caleb’s elbow, unsure. His heart was starting to pound in his ears.

“Ehm,” Caleb scritched Frumpkin and reached for Fjord’s hand to tangle their fingers together. Fjord felt his chest loosen immediately. “I may have told the clerics about a concern I have and they… intend to deal with it.”

“Anything I can help with?” 

“Unfortunately no,” Caleb’s fingers clenched almost reflexively, “It’s about the stone in your chest.”

“Oh.”

The wind kicked up, salty mist settling over them. Fjord tried to rub his thumb over Caleb’s hand but the ship bobbed and Caleb reached to steady himself against Fjord instead. Frumpkin huffed and hopped down to twine around their legs. 

Without his familiar to hide behind Fjord could see the concern on Caleb’s face. “That bad?”

Caleb took a deep breath and pinched his nose between his fingers. His other hand curled into Fjord’s shirt. “We had to summon Artagan, again, who was only able to tell us that Jester or Caduceus would be capable of the spell required. Our best guess is greater restoration, but we don’t have the diamond dust required for the spell. Veth pointed out we have residuum, but…”

Fjord pulled the hand from Caleb’s face. “Doesn’t sound too bad. Compared to being gutted?”

Blanching, Caleb swayed further into Fjord’s space. “There will be no more cutting into you. None.” His voice was grave, deep, and so severely serious.

“Alright,” Fjord tilted Caleb’s face. “The sun makes your eyes shine most becomingly.”

Caleb froze, pupils dilating. Processing. “Oh.”

“Fjord!” Jester called from the stairs and Caleb stepped back, still looking dazed. “Fjord you’re walking around!”

“Yes, I’m doing much better now,” Fjord called over his shoulder but held Caleb’s gaze. 

Jester bounced up to his side and gave him a hug, more gentle than some of hers. “Good, now we can get that stupid rock out of you!”

“That’s the plan at least,” Caduceus added as Veth stepped around from behind him, holding a small bag. 

“What,” Fjord looked around the deck. “Right here? Now?”

“Better sooner than later, right?” Veth pulled open the pouch. Inside a fine green dust sparkled. Caduceus held out his hand and Veth carefully measured out a few tablespoons worth.

“Probably should apply it right over where the orb would be.” Caduceus nodded at Fjord. “Open the shirt for me?”

Fjord hesitated, glancing around. A few of the crew members were glancing in their direction, and there were ships nearby…

A hand curled around his bicep. “It’s nothing we haven’t seen before,” Caleb murmured before moving to stand by Veth. “He can leave it on thought?”

“Yes, I just need to see the scar, the stomach.”

As soon as Fjord unbuttoned his shirt, a coarser cotton spare they had, Jester held it open. “We did this to Caduceus’ family, remember?” She explained, and smiled. “It wasn’t so bad.”

“Okay,” Fjord tried to smile at her, but he felt his stomach tighten anyway. Something in him wanted to retreat from Caduceus’ reaching hand. Yasha appeared at the mast, climbing down to see what was happening. 

Caduceus pressed his hand to Fjord and some of the dust caught in the breeze, sparkling in the air. For a breath nothing happened. Fjord looked at Jester, then Caleb. 

“Did it-”

Heat burned through his skin, tore into his chest not unlike the blade had. Fjord jerked and grabbed where Caduceus was pushing magic into him, anchoring himself to the contact as he grit his teeth.

“Fjord?” Jester grabbed his hand and he squeezed. “What’s happening, Caduceus is it-”

At that moment the pain ratcheted up to nauseating levels and Fjord’s legs gave out. Caduceus went down with him, hand on his shoulder as well as his stomach. Yasha darted forward and braced Fjord, her cool skin a blessing where she wound her arm through his. 

It wasn’t over. The pain was unrelenting, coming in waves, and Fjord couldn’t see, couldn’t hear anything over the pounding of his heart. There was a rasping, angry. Was it coming from him? Was it in his head?

His stomach clenched, rolled, his muscles spasmed and he gagged. Caduceus moved just in time as Fjord’s last meal hit the deck. A cool hand pressed into his forehead and he wavered before another convulsion rolled through his body.

The stone somehow, impossibly, emerged from his mouth, from his throat, landing on the deck. It rolled for only a moment before a foot landed on it, the boot holding it in place. Fjord groaned and collapsed back, eyes rolling into his head as he lost consciousness. 

\--

People were talking, angry, arguing. Fjord rolled his head confused where he was, how he was moving. He wasn’t on the deck, he could see the hall bobbing behind him, he- oh. There was a flash of black and white hair as they entered the Captains rooms and Fjord realized Yasha was carrying him. 

“Nice,” he muttered. His mouth tasted terrible and he smashed his lips.

“Oh good,” she replied, “you’re alive. I’m pleased.” She set him on the bed carefully.

“Fjord?”

Caleb, face flushed and eyes wide, tried to push to his side before Jester shoulder checked him out of the way. 

“Here, I’ll heal him, give me a second I’ll-”

“-I think it went better than expected!” Veth was crowing from the doorway. Fjord tried to shake his head to clear it. He felt extremely weak, again, drained of what energy he had started the day with.

Jester finished the healing and some of the pain melted away from Fjord. His chest expanded, his stomach stopped cramping, but he was still dazed. “Thanks Jess, I think I’m just-”

“-shouldn’t have pushed it!”

“The longer we waited the more likely-”

“-saying we couldn’t protect him, protect everyone-”

“-can’t believe I let you-”

“You let me?” Caduceus bellowed, and the room stopped. Caleb was wound so tightly Fjord could almost see the waves of energy radiating off of him. Veth was pushing Caleb back, looking angrily up at Caduceus, who’s ears had lifted away from his head and his hair slowly fluffed out, making him seem even larger.

Jester put a hand on Fjord’s shoulder as Yasha stepped into the conflict. “Fjord’s fine. The stone’s out of him and he seems like he’s just a bit shaken. Jester healed him- he’s fine, see?”

Everyone turned to look at Fjord, and he raised a hand to wave. “Hey, hi, hello, can I get some water? Please?”

The distraction seemed to work. Caduceus was closest to the water jug and grabbed it, pouring him a glass and handing it to Jester, who handed it to Fjord. Veth had an arm around Caleb and was looking up at him worriedly, but Caleb was staring at the middle distance and was shrinking into himself.

“I might get some sleep,” Fjord started slowly, looking between his friends. “Cad, would you mind making some more of that bread for me? Please? I know you’ve already done so much for me this week, so if you can’t-”

“More hearty bread, of course, of course.” Caduceus smoothed down his hair and adjusted his shirt, looking a little awkward. “Perhaps some soothing tea with dinner as well.”

“That’d be wonderful, thank you so much.”

Caduceus made his way out and Yasha followed after a beat.

“I’ll let you rest, you need it,” Caleb muttered and swept his hand through his hair as he made for the door. 

“Actually, Caleb?” 

At Fjord’s voice Caleb stopped. Veth took another few steps after him but also stopped at the door. “Yes?”

“Where is it?”

Caleb looked at him, unreadable, for a long moment before he flicked his eyes to Jester. Surprised, Fjord looked at her as well. 

She made a face and reached into her pink bag. There it was. She held out the cloven crystal in her little blue hands. It looked like the eye, staring at Fjord. Calling to him. 

“I don’t know what we should do with it,” she said. “I don’t really like it being in the haversack but it seems like the safest place for it.”

“I have something safer,” Caleb stepped forward. Veth scowled from the door.

Fjord tried to catch Caleb’s eye and failed. “What’s safer?”

Caleb reached up and pulled his shirt open to reveal several necklaces. One was a symbol, a necklace Fjord had seen before- the item that hid Caleb from scrying. The other looked more like jewelry. Several drops of amber in a cluster on a fine chain. 

“I can…” Caleb swallowed and rubbed his fingers on one of the amber pieces. “I made a spell, a storing spell. It will be put into one of these amber pieces. It will be safe, here.”

Jester pulled the crystal closer to herself, frowning. “You made a spell? You made a spell to shrink items?”

“Yes, here.”

Jester passed him the crystal and Fjord heard the orb start singing. Consume.

Fjord shook his head, tried to banish the voice. Reward.

Caleb sat down on the floor and set the orb in front of him. Fjord tried to peer over at the spell but Caleb was quiet, muttering to himself and drawing lines around the crystal. Jester tilted her head, watching Caleb cast.

After a few minutes he tapped the amber onto the crystal and faster than Fjord could track the thing was gone. 

“What…”

“Jess?”

Beau was at the door and Veth jumped at her appearance, startled. 

“Oh! Beau!” Jester hopped up and looked back at Fjord. “I’ll let you rest now, we are gonna go work on something for the party.”

“Oh shit,” Veth followed them out, “I was supposed to go over the inventory with Gallan.” She stopped at the last second, hand on the doorframe. “Will you be ok?”

She was talking to Caleb, because of course she was. Caleb had threaded the amber back onto his necklace and was standing up, dusting off his pants. “Yes, I’m fine Veth, go on.”

Then it was just Fjord, and Caleb, and what felt like a canyon that had somehow opened between them.

“Caleb…”

He was moving slowly but stopped completely, back to the bed and Fjord. “What do you see when you look at me, Fjord.”

Fjord swallowed. “A good man.”

“Ja, I am not sure I believe you.”

He expected Caleb to leave with that, with that rejection, with that accusation. But he stayed, lingered, swayed gently with the boat. 

“Will you look at me?” Fjord asked. Despite the water his throat felt dry, tight.

Caleb’s head half turned. “I don’t know how to be any better.”

“You don’t have to be. Come here, come look at me. Please.”

With a soft sound, like a keen or a groan, Caleb quickly turned and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I’m worried about you.” Fjord pressed his hands to his eyes and rubbed. “They want that crystal, when it was inside me then I was the only one in danger but the thought of you carrying it around- I hate it. I hate the idea of you being in danger.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!” Fjord reached out and grabbed at Caleb’s arm, fingers gripping into the sleeve. “Just by being near me he’s seen you, his people have seen you, you’ve been pulled into this gods damned plot. And now you are carrying the thing he wants more than anything. Promise me Caleb, promise me if it comes down to it you’ll give it up, let it go and save yourself if they come for it, I couldn’t bear it if-”

“Is that why you asked me where it was?”

Fjord narrowed his eyes at Caleb, confused. “Of course, I wanted to get it away from you, as far as possible, even now you should-”

“That’s your only concern?”

With a deep sigh Fjord let his hand fall from Caleb’s arm. “Alright, I’ll admit when I’m lost. What are you getting at?”

“I thought…” Caleb’s hands twisted in his lap and Frumpkin hopped up onto the bed, butting his head into Caleb’s side. “I figured you assumed I took it. For myself. For power.”

Fjord went cold. His ears started ringing and he listed. “What?” The idea, the concept of Caleb becoming beholden to Uka’toa, drowning before an eye, dragged down into the dark, was so horrifying it never even occurred to him, never crossed his mind. 

“You assumed I took it, you know I am searching for power, it makes sense I would use this crystal for-”

“It doesn’t though,” Fjord didn’t even give a thought before he reached out and let Frumpkin push into his hand. “You’re far too smart for that. And I thought you-” he cut himself off though, swallowing a knot in his throat.

“Oh,” Caleb hid his face behind a hand. “I… oh. I’m sorry. I should have known better.”

“Hey,” Fjord nudged him with his leg. “We’ve had some rough spots. I’m sorry too, for my part. For making you even have to think that.”

Frumpkin purred and curled up, tail tapping rhythmically. 

“Will you get rid of the amber though, for me?”

Caleb finally looked at Fjord, eyes soft. “You needn’t worry. I put the crystal into a pocket dimension, and the pocket dimension is within the amber. And the amber lives here,” he touched his chest, “next to my warding sigil. If they try to scry on it, or me, the spell will fail.” He let his hand drop to rest on Fjord's. 

“Good,” Fjord turned his hand and wound their fingers together. “I would hate for this to bring heat down on your head for my sake.”

“I’m more worried for you,” Caleb brought the hand up to his mouth and ran his lips over Fjord’s knuckles. “Just because you don’t have the crystal doesn’t mean they won’t come for you.”

“Fuck,” Fjord sighed and tried to focus on the feeling of Caleb’s mouth on his hand. “So I’m still putting you in danger.”

“As if I’m not returning the favor,” Caleb sighed. “I’m selfish, Fjord. I should have left you all after Trostenwald.”

“Then does it make me selfish for being glad you didn’t?”

Caleb huffed a laugh. “I’m not sure it’s possible for you to be selfish. But so long as you want me I’ll be here.”

In response, Fjord flipped up the edge of the blanket. “What if I asked you to be here instead?”

He meant it playfully, he was still exhausted from the ordeal of the crystal, but Caleb looked at the space next to Fjord and the tips of his ears went red. “You said you needed to rest,” he managed.

Fjord flushed as well, realizing how forward it seemed. “Oh, that was mostly to get rid of everyone else.”

Caleb’s eyebrows did a complicated maneuver and he cleared his throat, cheeks starting to color. “Fjord, uhm, are you sure you want to-”

Realizing that he had only made things worse Fjord sunk down into the bed and pulled a pillow over his face. “Sorry! I didn’t mean- we don’t have to- not that I don’t want you to- I just-” he let out a short scream, muffled by the pillow. “I meant I wanted everyone to stop arguing about me! I was trying to distract everyone I didn’t mean I wanted them to leave so we could fuck!”

The room was quiet but Frumpkin, purring softly. The pillow was pulled from Fjord’s face. 

“Please don’t suffocate yourself,” Caleb said quietly, face not so far as it was before. Fjord pressed a tongue to his tusk and tried not to stare at his mouth.

“Is napping together out of the question?” he finally asked, and Caleb smiled.

Frumpkin argued as he removed his coat and bent to remove his shoes before flipping the blanket up and taking off Fjord’s boots as well. “We aren’t so uncivilized we are sleeping in our shoes are we?”

Fjord snorted and tugged on Caleb’s arm, pulling the man into his embrace and snuggling down. “So long as someone is keeping watch I suppose not.”

“Take your job seriously,” Caleb pointed at Frumpkin with false severity. “You let us know if anyone intends to interrupt.”

With a short laugh Fjord buried his face in the back of Caleb’s neck. He smelled like the ocean but warmer, like the sun on worn leather. Smiling, Fjord drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr, my writing username is mefd19 (Moon Elf Fiction Dump) and my nerdy blog is moonelf19.


End file.
